Beginning a mission

Though they now live in North Carolina, the Verneys return to Michigan a few times a year to visit friends and family, both living and deceased.

“I like to say a Rosary for the deceased in our family when I get the chance to go to a cemetery,” said Jim. He and Karen devoutly pray for the dead, a spiritual work of mercy in the Catholic Church.

One day, while visiting Mount Olivet Cemetery in Detroit, he went to pray a Rosary for his grandparents, Charles and Amelia Verney. With an interest in family history, he visited the cemetery office, learning they purchased the plot in 1903 for $50 — with enough space for nine graves.

Along with his grandparents, his great-grandparents, their daughter and her husband and their daughter were all buried there, but none of them have gravestones. The only way they were able to ascertain the information, Jim said, is because the cemetery had kept the records.

“Thank God for Catholic cemeteries!” he said.

Jim wanted to provide a lasting grave marker for his family members, and since he and Karen had recently sold some of their restaurants, they were able to do so. Though they didn’t know it at the time, this set off a mission of locating forgotten ancestors to provide them with memorial stones. That mission brought the couple to Bay County and the Diocese of Saginaw’s Office of Catholic Cemeteries.

“Where is she?”

Jim knew that his grandfather was born in Bay City and baptized at St. Joseph Catholic Church. In his research, he discovered that his great-grandfather had changed his surname from Vernier to Verney “for business reasons” in the late 1800s, but not all family members did the same.

He enlisted some help from the Bay County Genealogical Society and Father José María Cabrera, pastor of All Saints Parish, who uncovered the birth, death and baptismal records of Johnny Vernier.

Johnny had died tragically at age 5. His remains had been reinterred in a mass grave when remains were moved from St. Joseph Cemetery in Bay City to Calvary Cemetery in Kawkawlin, with a stone memorializing all those buried there, rather than individual plots.

Though cemetery staff have done “a remarkable job trying to map” the cemetery, Jim said, it would simply be impossible.

There was one individual whom he could not find much information about: Delia Vernier. Her death certificate claimed she was buried in St. Patrick’s Cemetery, where he and Karen searched. The couple had a daily walking goal, he said, “And what better way to get some steps at St. Patrick’s Cemetery than to look for your great-great-grandmother?”

But there was no Delia Vernier. Or Delia Hovey. Or Barlow. Or St. Aubin. Delia had been married and widowed three times. Aided by the Bay County Genealogical Society, they learned more about her: Born in 1835, Delia’s maiden name identified her as a member of the St. Aubin family, who were early French settlers in Detroit. She first married John Baptiste Vernier in 1853, and he served in the Civil War. He was discharged due to disability in October 1862 and died in 1865. They had five children together, and after her husband’s death, Delia and her family went to live with an uncle. There, she met her second husband, Captain Robert Barlow, and they moved to Bay City. He died in 1905. Her third husband, Munson Hovey, died four months after their marriage in 1915.

From newspaper notices of illnesses, deaths and addresses, the Verneys surmised that Delia lived across the street from Munson and his wife, who died in 1911.

“Likely, Delia was caring for Mrs. Hovey before she passed, living across the street and being recognized as a good Catholic woman [who knew] how to care for people,” Karen noted. She guesses that Munson was likely ailing when he and Delia married at Visitation Catholic Church.

Delia herself passed away in 1922, having been predeceased by three husbands, all five of her children and her grandson, Johnny. Her final resting place, it seemed, was lost to history.

“If she wasn’t at St. Patrick’s, where the heck was she?” asked Jim.

Finding Delia

“I shared my frustration with the Bay County Genealogical [Society] members. Mary McManman, who is a retired Bay City librarian, is absolutely an outstanding researcher,” he said. Mary got to work along with Kathleen Doerr, who reads French.

One day, he received an email from the pair saying that they had found Delia. Following records from Visitation Catholic Church, they searched at Calvary Catholic Cemetery in Kawkawlin. 

Mary and Kathleen contacted Danielle Seymour, outreach director and sales manager for the Diocesan Catholic cemeteries. Delia wasn’t in their computer system, but she kept searching.

“I was able to look in the sexton’s handwritten records from 1922, and I found her. The penmanship was hard to decipher and she had been entered into our system incorrectly, but it was her,” Danielle said. “It was such an amazing feeling to help give Delia back her name!”

The Verneys knew what their next mission was. Delia was found, but now she needed a grave marker.

Sadly, the Verneys aren’t sure if Delia had any family left in the area at the time of her death. Was there a wake, a Rosary, a funeral Mass? All they knew was that she was buried in the unmarked grave in Calvary Catholic Cemetery.

Finishing unfinished business

“We finished unfinished business ... 103 years later,” Jim said.

The couple selected an elegant granite memorial stone, which included the names of her husbands and children to both honor Delia and aid future family members doing genealogical research. A smaller stone inscribed with Johnny’s name and dates was also placed on the grave.

In May, the Verneys, members of the Bay County Genealogical Society, Danielle and Father José María Cabrera gathered for a Rosary, historical presentation and prayer service for Delia and Johnny. Father José María blessed the gravesite, sprinkling it with Holy Water and praying. He also read the Gospel account of the Transfiguration of the Lord.

“In Heaven, there is no present, past or future. Heaven simply is,” he said in his reflection. “Thus, we can pray for the eternal repose of Delia, even though so many decades have passed since she left this earth, and for little Johnny.”

“I found the Verneys’ decision to order such a beautiful memorial for Delia inspiring,” Danielle commented. “Our cemeteries hold the history of the area, and I am grateful that Delia’s place in history will be permanently marked for future generations.”

As the Verneys continued their mission to ensure their ancestors have properly marked graves, they learned that Delia and Johnny’s circumstances were not unusual for a variety of reasons.

For Karen, who was raised in a Protestant denomination that allows for the scattering of cremains, having a specific resting place is of special importance. Her grandfather and his daughter’s ashes were spread over the family farm. Clarifying that we know the body is there and the spirit is elsewhere, she said it allows people to feel a connection with their loved one when they can visit a designated place with a marker.

“When you don’t have the ability to … go to the cemetery and pray at the gravesite — It’s a loss,” she said.

Catholic cemeteries make a difference

Knowing that his loved ones are buried in consecrated ground “makes the difference,” Jim said.

“That’s the beauty of a Catholic cemetery,” he said. “You have a great cemetery system here [in the Diocese of Saginaw.] ... It’s being managed well.”

By maintaining clear records, he explained, families can easily find the gravesites of their family members to pay their respects and appreciate their family’s unique story. And, as Catholics, we believe that story does not end with one’s death.

“Catholic cemeteries are sacred places where the faithful are laid to rest with dignity and respect. Great reverence is shown to the physical body, as it is a temple for the Holy Spirit,” Danielle said. “In keeping with the corporal act of mercy to bury the dead, our dedicated staff take our mission very seriously. We pray for those who have died as well as for those who grieve, and we look after their resting places with a sense of honor and devotion.”

Hopefully, Jim said, he will one day be welcomed into heaven and meet Delia, Johnny, John Baptiste Vernier and his other ancestors.

“That’s part of our Catholicism,” he said. “It is a work of mercy to bury the dead and pray for the dead.”

That work of mercy extends beyond their own families, too. When the city of Charlotte, North Carolina, where they live, opted to cease paying for the burial of unhoused individuals, the Diocese of Charlotte committed to ensuring they received a proper burial. The Verneys joined donors in contributing to the cause.

“Little did I know that it was going to blossom in this way,” Jim said.

“For me, it boils down to, how real to you is the notion of the Communion of Saints? That’s something that is included in our creed—the sense that we’re truly connected to people who have come before us, and we can pray for the intercession of those who are in heaven to help us,” Karen said. “[The souls in Purgatory] can’t help themselves and rely on us to help them.”

The importance of praying for the dead is a practice the Verneys have instilled into their children as well, and they look forward to one day seeing the recipients of their prayers.

“I think about it sometimes when walking through Calvary Catholic [and praying for the deceased,]” Jim mused. “Maybe those people will be at the gates [of Heaven] and say, ‘Thank you for praying.’”

November is dedicated to the Holy Souls in Purgatory. The Church encourages the faithful to visit a cemetery and pray for those buried there.

St. Gertrude Prayer for the Souls in Purgatory

Eternal Father, I offer You the most precious blood of thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the Masses said throughout the world today, for all the Holy Souls in Purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal church, for those in my own home and in my family. Amen.