Mary did not understand everything Jesus did, but she did trust. She “kept all these things in her heart.” (Lk. 2:51) She knew that Jesus belonged to her—but that he first belonged to the Father. I find Mary’s experience a helpful one to think about when it comes to a man discerning seminary (or a man or woman discerning religious life). Parents can struggle when this happens, even parents with great faith. They are worried about their children. They want them to be happy and to live a fulfilled life. A good resource regarding the priesthood is A Priest in the Family by Father Brett Brannen.

What are some of the fears that parents might have? Some may think they are too young. Others might be worried that they will be lonely. Others may think their child could not possibly be happy living a life of chaste celibacy. Some are afraid of losing out on grandchildren. To sum up, there is a fear they are losing their son and that he will not be happy.

This is normal to experience. Many parents have had to work through these or similar concerns. Mary was anxious and worried about Jesus, but she trusted in the will of God and kept everything that Jesus said and did in her heart.

There can be lonely moments in the priesthood, but no more so than in other vocations. Jesus himself experienced loneliness. Priests are often surrounded by people. They have good relationships with brother priests, their families and other friends.

Celibacy is a gift from God. Let’s remember that Jesus lived celibacy and said that some are called to renounce marriage for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. (Mt.19:12) Celibacy is a call to intimacy and fruitfulness with God. It is not giving up love, but living love in a different way. Priests are, by and large, very happy people.

What are positive ways for parents to support their son if he chooses to enter seminary?

Be supportive without being pushy. Be sure that he knows you love him and support him but also give him space to discern. Someone who enters seminary is entering into a period of formation and discernment. It does not help to put added pressure on him. Some end up discerning out and are better husbands and fathers because of their time in seminary. Many become priests of Jesus Christ to serve the people of God. Be open to God’s will, whatever that may be, and be sure that he knows you love and support him.

Mary loved Jesus. She also knew that the Father loved him. God desires the happiness of your child even more than you do. He knows best how to make that happen even more than you do. If God gives a call to your son to be a priest, have trust in the love and providence of God. It may be hard, as it was for Mary. Walk in faith and trust. Keep it all in your heart. Seminarians and priests find much support from their families. Their life in seminary and the priesthood also has a way of bringing unexpected blessings to the family.